You are seeking a therapist for something sex related but you are not sure what a sex therapist does or what sex therapy even entails. You know you need help but talking about something so personal feels really hard to do with a stranger, even if they are a professional. You want to know what to expect before reaching out or trying to find someone you think would be a good fit.
Sex Therapy
Sex therapy is a big umbrella term that houses a lot of different possible problems someone may be coming to therapy for. Sex therapy is for both individuals and couples or people in relationships. The most common problems a sex therapist may work with can encompass physical problems, mental and emotional problems, cultural problems, as well as relational problems. Sex is very complex and can embody all these different aspects in one problem.
Here is a list of all the common problems sex therapy typically treats:
Physical Problems or Sexual Dysfunctions
- Erectile dysfunction – Not being able to get or sustain an erection
- Early and delayed ejaculation
- Vaginismus – tightening of pelvic floor and vaginal muscles due to fear or anxiety around sex and usually causes pain during penetrative sex
- Anorgasmia – having delayed, infrequent, or the absence of orgasm
Mental/Emotional/Cultural Problems
- Low libido or Low sexual desire
- High libido that interferes with your daily functioning or connection with a partner
- Sexual repression from family, peers, and our culture or religion
- Shame
- Guilt
- Body-Image problems that lead to anxiety around sex
- Lack of comprehensive sex education
- “Sex Addiction” – sex therapy calls this Out of Control Sexual Behavior where you have a sexual behavior that is not in line with your morals or values and therefore is seen by you as a problem
- Normalization of sex and being a sexual being
Relational Problems
- Mismatched desire – one person wants sex more often than the other
- No intimacy or sex in the relationship
- Transitions in life that lead to new and different ways of experiencing or orienting sex and intimacy in the relationship such as pregnancy, parenthood, or menopause
- Problems communicating needs and desires
Special Populations of People or Exploration of New Areas of Sex and Relationships
- Kink/BDSM exploration or working with people in the community
- Polyamory, Swinging, and Open Relationship exploration or working with people in the community
- LGBTQIA+ exploration or working with people in the community
- Sex and disabilities
- Sexual support for seniors
As you can see this is a very long list of specialties and problems to know and work with. You may also notice that many of these problems overlap and could be put together to create a more comprehensive picture of what someone is experiencing. Sex Therapy holistically addresses all of the different aspects of your particular experience and concerns to make sure we are creating lasting change at not only the physical level, but at the core of your belief system as well.
How Does Sex Therapy Work?
Typically, I start by talking with clients about their personal sex histories. We go over what messages you encountered about sex and sexuality growing up and what experiences you had around your body, self-pleasure, and sex with partners that led to where you are now. We then usually discuss what barriers there are currently to you having the sex that you are seeking. For many of my clients, mental barriers and blocks are the most common to them being able to experience the ease and pleasure from sex they are wanting. I use a combination of education, normalization, and exercises or techniques to help you fully understand where the barriers come from, why those barriers may not suit you anymore, and how to move past those barriers so you can experience the satisfaction and pleasure you desire.
What Sex Therapy Is Not
I have had many people wonder if there is any hands on work that happens with sex therapy. Sex therapy is strictly talk based therapy and is only for
CONSENSUAL sexual concerns. I do not work with people who are actively involved in non-consensual acts with others and I do not watch people pleasure themselves or have sex with others. We can chat about all the intimate details in our sessions and strategize about how you can approach all different types of sexual situations but there is no hands on learning, unless it is an activity or technique I have given for homework for you to do on your own or with your partner in between sessions.
If you are struggling with a sexual concern for yourself or within your relationship and would like more guidance and support, please click the button below and schedule your FREE 30 minute consultation now!
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