You and your partner are wondering if lube may be beneficial to your sex life but are not sure of what brands to try or where to find this information.
Maybe you have some biases around lube and feel shame around lube even needing to be part of the equation.
Maybe you have had bad experiences with lube and are looking to find something that works better for you.
Whatever the reason, here is the 411 and my personal recommendations for all your lube needs.
How Can Lube be Beneficial?
In the body’s preparation for sexual stimulation and pleasure, it takes on average 18-20 minutes for a person with a vagina to be fully ready for penetrative sex.
During this time, the vagina becomes lubricated and about doubles in length and width. However, natural lubrication may not always last the length of your sexual experience and that is completely normal.
How much vaginal lubrication is created is also dependent on many factors such as genetics, hormones, age, medical history, or certain medications you may be on.
During postpartum and perimenopause the tissue in the vagina can become thinner and dryer due to the drop in estrogen.
Using lubricant can help lessen the friction and allow everything to glide more smoothly, increasing pleasure and comfort and decreasing any chance of pain or discomfort.
Also, lube is not only for the vagina. Anyone interested in anal play MUST use lube as the rectum is not self-lubricating. Masturbation with a penis can also benefit from lube as well.
Lube overall increases your ability to experience the pleasure and satisfaction you want in your sexual experiences. No shame needed!
4 Different Types of Lube
There are 4 different types of lube available and I will go over each one and give some recommendations.
Water-Based Lube Water based lube is one of the most common lubes you will see on the market.
Its consistency is more like a vagina’s natural lubricant. It is easy to clean up and found at most stores.
Water based lube is compatible with all sex toys and condoms or safer sex barriers.
However, there is a wide variety in the quality of the lubricant and may cause an inching or burning sensation when first applied due to mismatch in pH. I also have had clients say it feels tacky and sticky.
Because it absorbs into the skin more quickly, there is a need to reapply this lubricant more often as well.
Recommendations: Good Clean Love, Sliquid
Silicone-Based Lube Silicone based lube is the second most common type of lube.
It is a thicker type of lube that is hypoallergenic and will last longer with less application.
Because it is more viscous, silicone lube creates a smooth and comfortable barrier to friction during any type of sexual play.
Silicone lube is compatible with almost all condoms and safer sex barriers, but not all sex toys. Some silicone toys will specify that they are not compatible with silicone lube due to the possibly that silicone on silicone can break down the surface of the toy and make it more susceptible to retaining bacteria.
The other downsides to silicone lube are that it is not moisturizing, it is more difficult to clean up and may stain fabrics, and is more expensive.
Though there are some cons, I personally recommend clients starting with silicone lube, unless you are using a silicone toy.
Recommendations: überlube (my favorite!), Swiss Navy
Always look up or read on the label the specifics of each lube. For example, überlube is not compatible with polyurethane condoms.
Hybrid Lube Hybrid lube is usually a hybrid of water based and silicone based lube, however you can also find some that is a mixture of silicone and oil-based lubes.
These lubes are often creamy in texture and still less irritating than water based lubes.
They are long lasting and almost always compatible with condoms or safer sex barriers and sex toys.
The only negative to these is that they are harder to find and usually only purchased at a specialty store or online.
Recommendation: Sliquid Organics Silk I would also recommend going to your nearest Lovers or specialty store and asking what they recommend. I promise the people that work there are super knowledgeable and would love to help.
Oil-Based Lube Oil-based lube such as coconut oil are extremely moisturizing and can feel luxurious, while also being healing and soothing for gentle genital tissues.
Many people today like these options because they are often natural and organic.
However, these lubes are NOT compatible with condoms or safer sex barriers.
They also will stain fabrics and therefore are not easy to clean.
Oil-based lubes that are formulated for sex are also usually only found in specialty stores or online.
Recommendations: Coconu, Lovers selection of oil-based lube
If you are struggling due to sex not feeling comfortable and would like to explore how you can experience the sex you desire, please click the button below to schedule your FREE 30 minute consultation, and I would love to help you get back to experiencing comfortable and pleasurable sex!