3 Tips on Keeping Intimacy Alive When You are NOT Quarantined with Your Partner

Transcription: Hey everyone. I'm Kayla, I'm The Millennial Therapist, and today I'm giving you three tips on how to keep intimacy alive when you are not quarantined with your partner. So this is a really hard time for all of us, but especially those people that have partners that they don't live with. You all of a sudden are being thrust into this long distance relationship, even if your partner just lives like 10 minutes away from you. So, I can totally imagine how hard it would be to continue to keep intimacy alive during this time when you can't go see your partner. So I'm going to give you some tips for that.   One is communicate with your partner about what your expectations are of how often you want to communicate. Um, this is obviously new territory, especially if you've never had to do any type of long distance type relationship before. So talk to your partner about what your expectations are. How much do you want to talk to each other during the day? Do you want a text? Do you want to FaceTime? Do you want to Zoom? Um, whatever you are hoping for to keep that connection going, talk to your partner about that. And if you're both working, you know, maybe you don't have just all day to constantly be texting each other. So talk about what are your schedules throughout the day. What can you realistically do and when are some times during the day when maybe you have more time to actually maybe do a phone call or again, FaceTime or Zoom. Um, and really talk about like, what does that look like and how can you both be on the same page about that.   Number two is be creative with what you can do. So, I definitely would recommend doing some type of date night throughout the week as well. Um, and there are so many things that we have at our disposals that I had been thinking about, um, as ways to keep connected. So some of these are going to have to kind of go a little old school, but that's okay.   Um, so one idea would be like, you both go to the same restaurant to get take out, um, and you know, can get the same thing or different things, but know, that, "Oh, we both went to the same restaurant and got the same food and are eating the same food." Um, you can then now do like parties where you watch Netflix together so you can both watch and that's like show or movie at the same time as well. Or if you want to go really old school back to when I was in high school, um, or I guess even in college I did this sometimes, um, to like FaceTime each other while you're watching the show so that you can kind of both be there at the same time watching the same thing at the same time. Um, so that's an idea. Um, something else that I thought is, you know, we have all these delivery services available. Wouldn't it be cool if you like we're a little bit romantic and sent your significant other, you know, I don't know if they're really sending flowers right now. I don't know if that's like an essential thing that we need to have in quarantine. Um, but maybe like a favorite snack or a game or something that they really like, um, that you can Amazon, send them in the mail and then it shows up and they're like, "Oh my God, my partner just gave me something really cute and sweet." Um, so I think that's a great idea.   If you really want to go super old school, I know some of us Millennials might be like, "ugh I can't do this", but something I thought would be really sweet is if you actually like wrote your partner a letter. Um, again, we have mail service, M.A.I. L. service right now, so what have you wrote your significant other a letter and actually sent it to them in the mail. Um, and they got like a love letter from you maybe once a week or something like that. I thought that would be really sweet and romantic and nod two days when we did that. Um, but something that would be really fun to do. My last little creative tip, um, for those times that you want to get sexy and still want to try and have some semblance of a sex life with your partner. Um, there are plenty of really good, uh, vibrating like panties or even a vibrator that has a remote control connected to it. Or sometimes they even have an app on your phone that you can just download and it controls the vibration. How fun would that be if you both bought it together? One person buys it and then sends the other pieces to their partner. Um, so that during sexy time you can, you know, FaceTime each other or text each other, um, when and how you're going to do this. And then have one person remote control the other person's pleasure. Like that's pretty fun and something that'd be fun to do even when you're not in quarantine. So good investment. Um, so those are my creative tips.   Um, the last tip that I'm going to give you is, um, I have to actually look at it, uh, to, to continue to give each other the reassurance that you need throughout this time that this is going to be a challenging time. And especially for couples that have it had to do this, there might be some insecurities popping up here and there just feeling like I want a little bit more comfort than normal. So if your partner is feeling down or lonely or anxious, like just be there, be there for them in whatever way that you can while still taking care of yourself. Um, but give each other a little bit more of the reassurance that you need during this time because it is really hard and especially hard if you're not with this one person that is probably one of your biggest support systems in your life. So continue to be kind to each other, continue to give each other the reassurance that you need, that this relationship is still working still, um, doing what you want it to do. It's still giving you that joy and happiness that you want the relationship to give you and to remind your partner that this is only temporary and you will see each other soon.   Um, if you really can't stay away from each other, potentially drive up to each other's house. And like, I love seeing all the, um, videos of like babies seeing grandma or grandpa through the window and things like that. But please, if you're going to meet up somewhere or go to each other's houses, keep six feet apart, no kissing, no anything until this, this time is done. And we can all embrace each other the way that we as humans were meant to. So that's it for my tips for how to keep, um, intimacy and sex alive during quarantine when you are not quarantined with your partner.   Um, I'm new to this vlogging stuff, so it's crazy to say this, but, um, if you like this and want to subscribe, as always, hit the subscribe button. Um, you can also find me on Facebook and Instagram @reclaimingstoriestherapy. And if you are seeing this in are, in the greater Tacoma/ Seattle area, and think, "Oh my God, she'd be awesome to be my therapist." Great! Um, go to my website reclaimingstoriestherapy.com. Um, and there's awesome information about what I do, what all my services are, how to contact me. Um, my email is there. My phone number is there. So hit me up. Let me know what you're looking for and I would be more than happy to talk to you about seeing me for therapy. All right. Until then, take care and I will see you next time. Bye.