2020 - THIS SHIT IS HARD!!

Transcription: Hi everyone. I'm Kayla, The Millennial Relationship and Sex therapist and owner of Reclaiming Stories Therapy here in the great, Pacific Northwest, and today I'm going to be talking to you about, I'm going to curse just a warning, that this shit is hard, and it just is. So this kind of more of a check in video, letting you know that COVID is still very present right now. Um, and then all the other things that are happening in the world on top of it, um, we have civil unrest and really our country coming to a reckoning around social injustice, um, racial injustice, um, in particular. And it it's a lot for us to all be thinking about constantly and really trying to put our effort into making a change, which is very important, but it's still a lot. It's still a lot in the grand scheme of what 2020 has brought us. Um, and we are now entering into an election in a couple months. That is just a whole bag of craziness that is leading up to it. Um, so really the state of our world is still really difficult for us to all deal with. And I think the biggest thing that I have heard from a lot of my clients that I'm working with, um, is just the feeling of like, shouldn't we be okay? Like we've been through this for six months now. Um, and you know, why is it it's still so hard to deal with these things? Like, why am I still feeling fatigued and anxious and depressed and tired, exhausted, um, all of the above. Um, and why is it so hard to still work through these things? Like shouldn't, we just have figured out how to be normal even during this very chaotic and crazy time? Um, and the answer is no, and it's okay. It's okay that this is hard, but I think I want to acknowledge today that it is hard and, you know, I've even been feeling it too, myself. That sometimes I feel like why is this such a struggle every single day and every week. Um, but then I have to remind myself because it is that we are still living through a world pandemic. We are still living through, um, our country, really trying to figure out what the heck it's doing and in lot of different aspects and really pushing for change in a lot of different places. And it is a lot to intake. So today I'm going to be giving you some more tips on how to continue to cope with this, they're a lot of the same things, but sometimes I think it's good to get reminders of the things that we can do for ourselves. And to know that it's okay to not be okay. Um, and to know that you just, you have somebody on your side and you have somebody that is consistently going through this with you as well, because I am definitely doing this too. So my first tip is continue to find reasons to laugh and reasons to find joy. And I know that's really hard. Um, I've had a few conversations with clients that kind of thought about that and like, yeah, I really haven't laughed a lot in the last six plus months, um, and had conversations around like, where does laughter come from? Like when we have more laughter in our lives than other times, how does that transpire, how does that come about? Um, and a lot of those conversations had to do with being around other people and being around, um, you know, loved ones that we have experiences with that lead to laughter. And a lot of us are still isolated from people that we love, or haven't really seen a lot of friends in person. Um, and maybe it just doesn't feel like this time is a time where you can laugh and have joy. Um, you know, sometimes it feels like there's all these things going on. There's protests in the streets, there's all these causes and things that we need to learn about and to really get in the know about. And, um, that there isn't a lot of room for laughter and joy. That it would almost kind of be disrespectful to do that. Um, and yet laughter and joy is something that's really important for us to stay resilient through these times and even in times of war and just very chaotic environments that have happened in history, um, people have always turned to entertainment and have always found ways to kind of escape what they're going through in the moment just to find some respite and, um, take their mind off of things because just physiologically our bodies can't handle that level of stress for too long. So it's okay to laugh. It's okay to find something to be excited about or to have joy from. Um, it's been really nice to people still getting married and um, big life moments still happening, even though it's in times of COVID. So find reasons to laugh, find reasons to have joy. Um, my second one is you're gonna love this, get some exercise. And I firsthand know that this is very hard to do, especially when you're home, you're on top of all the other people living in your house, or even if you're alone, that sometimes it's just hard to make that a routine, especially when you're home and you're doing everything in your home. Um, but it is still probably one of the best things that you can do for stress and anxiety and depression. Um, to have a routine where you, you know, get up in the morning and do some exercise or do some exercise in the evening, it really helps to work that stress and anxiety out of your body. Um, and gives you, you know, some endorphins gives you some reason to feel joy, probably feel a little bit better in your body and feel better about yourself. Um, and just a good way to keep your health up and, you know, it's just overall really good way to take care of yourself. So that's an exercise. Um, I know the summer months are gone basically. Um, we are now in September, um, and you know, even though the cold weather is coming, we are going to have a heat wave coming our way. So, um, you know, finding ways to get out and enjoy the sunshine and get some exercise. Go walk, go hike, um, you know, do all those outdoor sports that are not going to be available to us when we start getting more rain. But those of you that live in the Pacific Northwest know that we are not fair weather people. We can do outdoor things even in fall and winter. So continuing to try and get outside, get around nature, get some exercise. Next is journal. So journaling people can either take it or leave it. Um, typically I'm saying that some people don't like it, some people do like it. Um, but journaling can be a great way if you feel like you don't have the resources for therapy or don't have somebody to talk to normally. Its a really good way to get all the stuff that's in here out on a piece of paper, um, that's concrete and you can kind of process through your emotions. And I really like, you know, just letting my mind go wherever it's going to go and writing it out and then seeing kind of, you know, what did I actually write about once I get to the end and how can I process through that by rereading it and seeing how I was processing through it as I was writing. And then how can I process through it now that I'm done writing? So journaling is a really good way to work through and process your feelings, even when you feel like you don't have somebody to talk to. So know that that's available to you. Um, next one is talk to a friend or family member if that's available to you. Um, I know it can feel like we have all these things happening. Um, even on top of that, you know, even in my own life, but in most of my clients' lives, they've experienced some other really big, hard things like losses that weren't even related to COVID. Um, and you were, you know, family members getting sick or things like that that are just like piled on top of all the other stuff that we're dealing with. So talking to somebody that is close to you, I know sometimes it feels like you can be burdening somebody, but we all still need that. And I think we're all really longing for connection right now. Um, and that's something that's really hard that we're not all getting. Um, and even if you do live with somebody, sometimes it's still, you know, you're working, you're trying to balance everything and sometimes you're still not getting the connection that you need. So talk to somebody if you can. Um, and that brings me to my last one is take time for you. All this stuff is taking time for you, but really making sure that you take, take time for you. Um, and you know, even if it's just an hour a week. Now, if you are needing or wanting to see a therapist, um, and taking that hour a week for yourself is really important. It's so important to take some time for yourself, no matter who you are, really, no matter who you are. If you're a parent, um, if you're taking care of little ones, if you're trying to help take care of an elderly parent, um, no matter who you are, you need to take time for yourself, even if it's just an hour a week. I hope that you have more time to take for yourself than just an hour a week. That even if it's just an hour a week, please do it. It is so important for you to take care of yourself and fill yourself up so that you can continue to give and take care of the people that you love in your life. So please do that. Um, so those are my tips. Um, I'm sure you've heard them all before, but I'm just here to kind of remind you and to let you know, like it's really okay to not be okay. We're going to have days that are a struggle and sometimes it's all we can do to just get through it. Um, listening to music, watching TV, um, you know, eating some food that maybe are like, probably don't need this, but I'm going to eat it anyway. That's okay. Mmm we're you know, I'm not promoting any eating disorders at all, but I just know that something having that one cookie or that little bit of ice cream, or even just some like tea and a good book is just really what we need for comfort right now. So be kind yourself really, really be kind yourself, look inward, see what you need and find time for it because we all still need that right now. And the stuff is going to be hard. The shit it's going to be hard, um, for a while. So we really continually need to create the, um, routines that we need to help us move through this in as best as way as we can, because none of us are going to be perfect. So that's my kind gesture to you. Please take time for yourself. Um, please contact me if you are really needing somebody to talk to please contact me and take that time for yourself. Um, it's important and I am here and available. So take that time for yourself. Um, where can you find me? You can find me at my website, um, which is reclaimingstoriestherapy.com. You can go to my contact page and fill out my fillable form, um, or if you stumbled across one of my service pages or specialty pages, um, all of those have the fillable form on them too, so you can fill it out there. Um, you can find me on Facebook and Instagram, um, @reclaimingstoriestherapy. And then my YouTube channel is The Millennial Therapist - RS for Reclaiming Stories. Um, and that's how you can find me. So please contact me if you need somebody, um, please take care of yourselves and know that you are not alone. We're all going through this crazy shit together. So take care. Thank you for watching. And I will see you guys in my next video. Bye.

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